[Note: Please read the previous "Long December" post first, as that is how the story began.]
Head rush.
Once again, timing has smiled on me. I just have to take that last step. There she is. Talk to her.
The nerves hit. My confidence has been building lately, but I still hesitate a little bit as insecurity boils over. I take one step forward, then I stop--grin a sad grin. I start to walk away.
It hits me again. "WHY WON'T YOU GROW?!" a familiar phrase from a familiar voice rings in my head.
Not again. Not tonight.
I spin on my heels. I walk toward her, steady and with purpose. Some drunken jackass is dancing like a fool in between us. I sidestep him, but I am thankful for the opening he created.
"You know, I always wished that I could dance like
that."
She chuckles a bit, flashes a beautiful smile.
Yes.
I introduce myself. I tell her that I thought she was leaving and that I would be kicking myself if I didn't at least come over and say "Hey." She seems intrigued.
We talk for a while, outside by ourselves. She seems interesting. She is easy to talk to, and she is a bit of a talker in general--which helps, as I am fairly quiet. I mainly listen: listen, react, and add when necessary. [South tells me that this is one of those things about my personality that seems to attract people to me. I listen. Not only do I listen, but he says that you can tell that I am actually hearing what people say and I am digesting it, using it to respond and converse. He says it makes me seem more real.]
Anyway, after a while, she says that she is at the bar with some friends and asks if I'd like to join her. I say "sure," and we head back inside. We spend the next hour or so hanging out, talking about this and that, just enjoying each other's company.
It gets into the 1 o'clock hour, and I am getting a little tired. Plus, I am supposed to be heading somewhere else in the not-too-distant future. She tells me that her and her friends are going to go hang out in the back of the bar (The bar is divided into a couple of sections: one is just a bar/lounge, one has the live band, another has a dance floor and hip-hop music--which is where they are going.) Having absolutely no interest in attempting to actually dance, and simultaneously wanting to quit while I was ahead, I took my last chance of the evening.
I tell her that I am probably going to head out soon. She fake pouts a little at this mention. When we were talking outside earlier, she said that she didn't believe in New Year's resolutions, as people just seem to break them. Now that I am leaving, I tell her that while she may not believe in resolutions, I've decided that one of mine is that I am going to be more forward this year. I asked her if it would be alright if I gave her a call some time. She enthusiastically said "Sure," and gave me her number.
After making sure that I saved the number [There's a funny story from my early singledom past . . .], it was time to say goodbye. We exchanged "Happy New Year"s, shared a brief embrace, and parted. [I must note that I wanted to kiss her, but felt that it wasn't the right time because a) I certainly didn't want to rush it/go in for it and possibly be denied; and b) it felt a little awkward, as we were in a crowded bar and her friends were literally right next to us.]
I said goodbye to Loo and Marciau, who told me I did a good job scoring the digits and that I had better call her . . . in a few days. I then stepped outside and began the somewhat long journey to my parked car.
I walked out into the night, into the new year--one foot in front of the other toward something new . . .
