They Sure Looked Hot in All Those Robes . . .
OMG
Literally.
I love my uncle Steve. That is why I went to see him this weekend. Man, does he owe me!
On Saturday, my uncle was to be confirmed--that is, he was becoming an official Catholic. [For the purposes of this blog entry, I am going to ignore the fact that I did not understand the reasoning behind this at all. Honestly, I was shocked that he wanted to become a Catholic. My uncle is an openly gay man, and I thought that Catholicism would be mighty far down the list of churches to apply to. Granted, maybe I am selling them short, in terms of my perceived knowledge of the Church's openness and accepting nature. Tough to say . . .]
I attended this extended Easter service/new member orientation/Kool-aid drinking session with my mom, stepdad, and a couple of my uncle's more colorful friends.
No offense to my Catholic friends, family members, and erstwhile Catholic "girlfriends," but you have got to be fucking kidding me. There was just so much weird ritual involved here. Lots of spoken words chanted to and fro; scripts that I was not privy to; mixed singing and speaking from the priest guy; various hand gestures; all of these nonsensical processes; an overwhelming sense of stratification/"I'm better than you"/"Join our cult . . . er, Church"/"Get the fuck out of here if you won't" etc, etc, etc.
I've never stood up and then sat down so many frickin' times in my life. Hey, here's a song: Preacher says, "stand up." Let's read the Bible: Preacher says, "sit down." This young couple would like to announce they are engaged (DON'T DO IT!!!) : Preacher says, "stand up." Time to baptise: Preacher says, "keep standing . . . no, wait--sit down." Uh-oh. I didn't say "Preacher says." Please do 10 Hail Mary's and proceed directly to purgatory.
In the end, I congratulated my uncle, gave him a hearty hug--whether this was from general affection or general exhaustion from the constant sitting and standing for NEARLY 3 FUCKING HOURS in the hottest building in the world (Seriously people, it's 2006: get some AC!), again, its tough to say.
A note to my friends--you know, the ones that really care for me: if I ever mention doing something like that again, shoot me.
Seriously.
posted by A P @ 8:10 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
part of the problem is that this confirmation was done on Easter Sunday--likely the most involved, complicated, lengthy service of the Catholic church or any bigtime religion.
Let's break it down . . .
Easter is the reason, right?
Without the Easter event, there's no church, no doctrine, no standing, sitting, kneeling, praying, signing, reciting . . . nothing. So, you've gotta do it up right.
And confirmation is the adult taking on the commitment to faith, basically saying, "Yeah, all that that was just typed up there . . . I'm into it; I'm down."
So, you got caught in religion's perfect storm.
It won't always be thus.
You mean 'hot' as in "hot," I guess, not 'hot' as in HOT! Okay, just making sure. Either way, a big moment for Uncle Steve, who may or may not want to unpack his conversion for you over a beer some time. At last I've found the true historical origin of the game of Simon Says. I sense a Didyouknow!
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