Gracias

What am I thankful for?

Seems like a pretty appropriate question, given the looming holiday.

I'm thankful for my job, even if my current task is not particularly thrilling.

I'm thankful that I finally made a real decision, and that I have stuck with it through the highs and the lows.

I'm thankful for my friends, who have been there for me in various capacities--keeping me sane in tumultuous times, listening to me bitch incessantly . . .

I'm thankful for the group of people that I am lucky enough to hang out with every day.

I'm thankful for the life experiences that I have been part of over the last few months: for the moments and memories that I will always have; for the second chances (whether or not I have deserved them); for the adventures that I have finally let myself experience; for the emotions, times, homes, rooms, and beds that I have shared.

I'm thankful that I am sitting here today, typing to you. I'm alive. It's not exactly how I pictured it all happening, but I kind of like how it has turned out.

So, what are you thankful for?

The End of Chapter 1

So I went to the divorce lawyer yesterday, and let me tell you: fun times.

It's kind of funny to notice that no matter how much you want something, it can still be a real stressful pain in the arse. I don't know. The whole process is making me a little sick, and talking with the lawyer didn't help much. There are just so many fucking little details to hammer out--it's a little frustrating.

Granted, the process as a whole has been (and seems like it will be) relatively easy. And relatively cheap--I guess I can be thankful for that.

For now, the last detail that we need to square away is the dividing of possessions that are physically in the house. To that end, my "wife" provided me with a list of the things she wants. In response, I am to agree or disagree on each item. We will then go back-and-forth until we are both (reasonably) satisfied.

Her list (including some notes from her):

My stuff:
1. Piano
2. Courio Cabinet
3. Bed
4. Hope Chest
5. Desk
6. Red couch and chair
7. Round Table
8. My TV
9. All Christmas stuff (excluding your childhood orndaments [sp])

Our stuff I want:
1. Entertainment Center
2. Large TV
3. DVD/Surround Sound
4. New Dressers
5. Nightstand
6. Bookcase in bedroom
7. Microwave Cart
8. All decorations
9. All Kitchen Stuff (except extra set of glasses, knives and silverwear [sp])
10. Washer & Dryer
11. Computer-no I am NOT buying you one-I need it since you say you are transferring the DSL to my name!

In all honesty, I don't want much. Hell, I don't need much. And I don't have the space for much, for that matter. However, looking at her list, I am left to wonder: what exactly am I getting?

I'll work up a response soon, with a couple of suggested changes. Though I probably won't make too many.

This is what our lives have come to at this point: squabbling over our collective crap. Quite simply, I do not think that I care enough to fight over such things. To me, it is a waste of time and effort.

I guess that before I can completely immerse myself in this "life in the beginning" stuff, I need to wrap up the junk from the past.

Update: Life 2.0

[Note: originally written on September 26th]

I suppose that it's about time to give an update here. Gotta keep my loyal readers happy, right?

So, what's new?

The wife and I have split. While this was ultimately my decision, there are definitely parts about it which hurt. Foremost in my mind is the knowledge that I have broken her heart and torn her world apart. I'm sure that I will be feeling the pain and guilt from that for a long while, but I am prepared (as best as one can be) to accept that.

Life is a little scary and confusing and turned upside down right now, but for the most part, I feel fine. I have no idea what is going to happen tomorrow or the next day, but for the first time in my life, I'm okay with that.

I've spent entirely too much of my life (especially lately) acting like some depressed "emo" kid, as if I had real problems or that I was powerless to change them. I am sick of being that person. I don't have to be that person. Fuck, I am NOT that person.

I will definitely have to elaborate on stuff sometime soon. For now, I am just excited to get another chance at life. Hell, it's almost like I am really starting life for the first time.

I'd ask you to wish me luck, but, you know, I think that it is about fucking time for me to start making my own luck.

What I feel is free.

What I feel is that anything is possible.

Talk to you soon . . .

Blame it on the Tetons

Yeah, so I haven't posted in, like, forever.

Forgive me?

Things are starting to resemble something like normalcy (whatever the hell that means), so changes are a comin,' dear reader (readers?).

Maybe I can even get on Burb's side bar!

One can dare to dream.